Ka-ru-bi-nu (Calvin), nihon!

Goodbye Tokyo

2009-10-11T02:34:00.003-04:00

As I write this I'm sitting in the lounge at Narita Airport waiting to catch my flight back to Canada.

At this point in the trip I'm not sure what words I have left to say. The lack of sleep will do that to you. I could go on and on about all the good things I liked about Tokyo.

It wasn't a perfect trip. The typhoon put a damper on a few of the things I wanted to do. I didn't get out as much as I wanted. But I don't know that there's much more in the city that I would have wanted to visit. While Tokyo is immense, there are only so many stores you can see. Only so many trains that you can take.

I saw some impressive sights, and I experienced being in a city where there are so many people that it can be hard to walk on the street. I ate food that I've dreamed about eating for a long time. I lived, in some respects anyhow, how Tokyo-ites live everyday.

I met some terrific people, local, expat & tourist, that made my trip so much more interesting than I could have done alone.

But mostly, I just had a plain old good time.

Would I change anything? For certain.

I would be far more prepared in my planning and practised Japanese. There were times when I felt incredibly ignorant not knowing the language. For the first few days I really believed I would not end up meeting new people.

I would karaoke with the Japanese. I did not get a chance to go with Norman from Shibuya. I'm sure he would have taken us somewhere amazing.

I would have business cards prepared. It doesn't matter if you aren't there for work. When you meet someone for the first time, it's the polite and proper thing to do.

I definitely would NOT come back alone. It's an odd thing to say given how much I enjoyed myself, but this is something that has to be experienced with a friend or friends.

I'll be back one day. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when.

Until then, Tokyo...

Sayonara

Tokyo in pictures.

2009-10-11T02:17:00.008-04:00

Instead of writing anything, I'll let the pictures tell the story.

Random Japanese musings: nihon-jin

2009-10-10T21:33:00.007-04:00

As my trip draws to a close, I have a few thoughts and observations about Tokyo and nihon-jin Japanese people.

The Japanese I met are an incredibly generous people. They are very social, go out of their way to help you and show you a good time.

Japanese women walk like pigeons/ducks. I know I slammed the fashion wear but it is what it is. Still, the women don't know how to walk, especially in heels. Many of them walk with their feet pointed inwards I don't know why and they end up stomping awkwardly in high heels. Like pigeons/ducks.

It's a rigid culture. If you go up an escalator everyone not walking up is standing completely still on the left, not like at home. They queue up in rigid fashion. Everyone politely bows. The train system runs like clockwork. If you are late on a train you will know exactly how late you will be.

Tokyo is a massive city. I mean really massive. Bright lights and people everywhere. This is no backwards metropolis.

The bright lights of Shibuya

They have some pretty ingenious ideas. Like the umbrella bag. It's a plastic bag that they provide free to everyone when it's raining to put your umbrella in!

Umbrella bags! Marvelous!

Nihon-jin don't really speak English. It's a misconception on our part.

Roppongi is a dump. Roppongi is an area of Tokyo that is popular and famous amongst tourists for partying and vice. It's vastly overrated and did not warrant more than this mention in my blog.

Roppongi Crossing.

The trains. They make the Montreal metro lines look like toys. It's a massive collaboration of rail and subway companies that are almost always on schedule.

Damn, I will miss this city.

Clubbing in...somewhere: Another all nighter.

2009-10-10T21:07:00.008-04:00

So on my last night in Tokyo I went to see a football match in Yokohama. But afterward I hooked up with my friends from London, Jamie & Jenny, the party boyz from Montreal, Thierry & Jason and our hostess of the evening, Akiko who works at the bar Rhythm from my jaunt the night before. Akiko and her friend Rie are absolute darlings!

Where did we go?

Ageha.

Ageha is one of, if not the largest club in Tokyo. There were fully three thousand people there last night. The music is mostly house and they host many of the world's most famous DJs. Last night was no exception with Paul Van Dyk spinning the records.

Our evening started off not so well, as we had to wait for over an hour to get on the bus to Ageha. Yes, the club offers a shuttle bus from Shibuya train station to the club itself. The only problem is that there are so many people going that the lineup for the bus is long.

Second, we almost got into a fight with some line-cutters. This couple walked up and jumped the queue and everyone in our area started freaking out at them. My friend Jenny played the peacemaker but it nearly came to blows.

Third, the bus ride is damned long. Over 30 minutes. This fucking bus took us clear across the city to near Maihama which is close to Tokyo Disney. Nowhere near Shibuya!! Fortunately we kept ourselves entertained with picture taking and boozing on the bus!

Taking the party Bus!!

Mon ami Jason! Akai wine-u! (Red wine)

Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to take pictures in the club. There was a small incident with Thierry getting punched in the eye and the subsequent search for said assailant by the boyz, but otherwise a great time was had by all. Lots of Jaeger-cokes and amaretto-cranberries! Yum!

At 7:00AM we staggered out of the club and headed to the train station for the long ride home. I had to say goodbye to my new, but dear friends. I will miss them a lot!

Jeebus, what a city!

J&J from London outside Ageha @ 7AM.

Random Japanese musings: football

2009-10-10T20:42:00.004-04:00

I love me some football the real word for soccer.

As chance would have it, all the national leagues are on international break meaning countries are either playing qualifying matches for next year's world cup or playing friendlies.

Lucky me! The Japanese national team was playing at home this weekend against Scotland.

As such there were a bunch of kilt-wearing, drunken Scotsmen sorry Fiona it's true! in the city for the game.

I went with my newfound buddy Jamie to catch the match in Yokohama at the beautiful Nissan Stadium ,which hosted the World Cup final a few years ago.

The Japs love their football. They're almost as crazy about it as the Europeans and South Americans! Lot's of singing and chanting and flag waving. In the end Japan won 2-0 and the home crowd went home happy!

Futu-boru!

Randon Japanese musings: depachika

2009-10-10T20:30:00.003-04:00

Eating in Tokyo is not as difficult as one might think.

Yes there's really expensive stuff. Sushi, ramen, tempura, steakhouse...all sorts. And if you don't try very hard it can cost a mint. But it doesn't have to. There's a misconception that it can really be expensive.

If you travel like a dickhead.

One way to keep costs down?

Depachika.

Depachika are food floors of departments stores. Department stores here are massive complexes that sell everything including food. The food they sell isn't like a food court with McDo or KFC. It can be pastry, bakery, charcuterie, hot meals...really good stuff. You can get a really good meal for 1000Y.

The only problem?

There's no place to sit and eat. You have to take it to go in a bag and eat it at home. If you're really hungry, that can suck balls.

Depachika.

Yakiniku (grilled meat) on skewers. Yum!

Shibuya: The all-nighter

2009-10-09T18:17:00.007-04:00

Just so you know Heather, you will be happy to hear that I pulled my all-nighter.

I had made plans with the couple I met at the maid café to hook up for drinks and bar-hopping in Shibuya.

Shibuya is most famous for the pedestrian crossing. You know...the one where what seems like thousands of people cross at the same time? It is home to the trendy 20-something set and as such has a whole whack of bars, clubs and great shopping.

Shibuya at night!

Shibuya. Busy with people!

I finally had a chance to meet up with some people. Jamie and Jenny are from London and we just happened to be sitting next to each other in the maid café. They had made plans to meet up with someone local so I was invited to join.

Norman, the guy we met, is the king of Shibuya. He owns his own marketing company based on street lifestyle. He's plugged into everyone there. He has his own company/clothing line called Suspereal. The most generous man you will ever meet. He took us everywhere.

It ended up being a great evening as we went bar and club hopping throughout the Shibuya district. There was a bar near Tower Records, an isakaya (pub) called Zaru, then a tiny hole in the wall place called Rhythm Café.

At Rhythm, believe it or not we met up with Thierry and Jason on vacation. From Montreal. They were visiting their friend (whose name I can't remember) also from Montreal. Quebecois French subsequently broke between the four of us with a lot of hostie tabarnak! flying around.

After a few rounds we headed to a club called Velours. You would never know it was there. But we proceeded to drink and dance the rest of the night away.

I got home at 7:20 AM. Ouch.

Jamie & Jenny

NORM! al la Cheers. On the right. King of Shibuya.

Shibuya Wrecking Crew! Yes, that's a bison head on the right!

Snobbery, geeks and maids

2009-10-09T04:48:00.013-04:00

I headed towards Ginza today. I'm sure a lot of you have heard of Ginza, whether you know anything about it or not. It's a part of Tokyo that has traditionally been known for being modern and cutting edge.

I always said to myself that I would go to Ginza and eat sushi. That was my thing. My raison d'être for coming to Tokyo.

Well I can tell you that Ginza is a huge disappointment. It's where the snobs come to do snob shopping. Example: they have a department store called Matsuya similar to Holt Renfrew or Ogilvy but much larger. If you don't dress a certain way they give you the shitface when you enter. You know, that scrunchy face you make when you smell shit?

Anyhow, way overrated. Nothing to see. Moved on. Fantasy up in smoke.

Matsuya. Home of the shitface.

Corner of Chuo-dori & Ginza 4-chome. The heart of Ginza.

The worst part about this place is that there was nothing to eat. I couldn't even find the clown. That's how snobby it is.

So I packed up and headed northwards towards Akihabara. Akihabara is famous for it's electronic city, the traditional heart of nerddom. Anything you want to find in gadgetry can be found here. But these days Akihabara is known more for its' dedication to Japanese manga comics and the otaku: the Geek.

It's like the mothership was calling me home.

Akihabara, where geeks come to roost.

Sugoi! (Amazing!)

But the highlight of the day? The maid cafe.

Ever hear of maid cafes? It's where the staff, of young Japanese girls, dress as maids called cos-play, short for costume-play. Compared with service at normal cafés, the service at cosplay cafés involves the creation of a rather different atmosphere. The staff treat the customers as masters and mistresses in a private home rather than merely as café customers. from wikipedia

They'll play games with you, take pictures, and draw super cute happy faces on the food they serve you. All for a cost of course. The entire atmosphere is as cute as Hello Kitty, which means sickly sweet. It's disturbing, but not sexual.

Why would I do this? It beats Heather's suggestion of going to the hostess bar.

I went to @Home Café, which is probably the most famous. It's four floors of Japanese girly cuteness. I went to the 6th floor because the 4th was busy. The sixth was a little different in that the maids wore all sorts of costumes, like Little Red Riding Hood or Chun-Li from the Street Fighter video game, instead of the standard maid outfit. It didn't take away from the experience though.

I ordered the Halloween special which was a hamburger, a soft drink and picture with one of the maids.

When I got my drink I had to say Mo-e, Mo-e, Kyun! and make a heart shape with my hands before before the maid would let me drink. Same with the meal. The maid drew a scary face on the rice that was served to me with ketchup. I was impressed. The couple next to me (from London) had a cute monkey face drawn on their rice. Sugoi-ne!

It was all so very disgustingly super kawaii!! cute

In a good way though. Unfortunately you are not allowed to take pictures in the café. To make up for it I bought an extra picture. Here's the picture of the pictures. Ask me if you want to see the original polaroids.

Super kawaii, Ka-ru-bi-nu!!!

Did I have fun? Yup! How could I not amidst all the sickly cuteness?

Mo-e, Mo-e, Kyun!

Random Japanese musings: language

2009-10-08T22:26:00.001-04:00

Let me tell you that watching Japanese cartoons and being able to pick up words does not mean you can speak Japanese.

This trip has totally proven to me how utterly impotent my nihon-go really is. It's one of the most frustrating things you can experience really.

I mean, if you are buying shit, it's easy. You look at the cash register and fork over the Yen. You can get by with restaurant eating too as most places have menus with pictures you can point at. Let me tell you that I've been pointing a lot.

How do you say Egg McMuffin in Japanese?

Point! Point dammit!

That said, everything else has been awkward. I find myself saying

nihon-go ga hanasemasen I don't speak Japanese

or

nihon-go ga wakarimasen I don't understand Japanese

or

e-go ga hanasemas-ka? Do you speak English?

a lot.

I like meeting people but it's really difficult this trip. I didn't prepare my Japanese enough.

I tried striking up a conversation with somone and ended up waving my hands around like a fucking dickweed. Ever notice how you raise you voice when you are trying to communicate with someone who doesn't understand. Like they're deaf right? The poor woman was looking at me like I had just left the insanity ward.

Even better was when the policemen stopped me for questioning.

MY. NAME. IS. CALVIN!! **waving hands**

After that, I just kinda stopped trying. I find myself nodding and just saying Hai! yes a lot right now.

Bleah.

Fish on Friday

2009-10-08T20:58:00.007-04:00

It's a Catholic thing, right?

I just returned from a Friday morning excursion to the Tsukiji Fish Market, the largest fish and seafood market in the world.

It's impressive. It's crazy busy. You can eat some of the freshest sushi nearby. And you have to get there really early to see it in its' glory.

So I woke up at 5:00 in the morning to prepare to go the fish market. Tokyo's a strange place at that time of day. Everyone is passed out on the train, but you have early to rise business people passed out, and drunken revelers who are going home passed out.

Most travel guide books will tell you to walk the market first and then go eat sushi as you will work up an appetite. Do the opposite as you will probably be starving when you get there and the line up will be less.

Where did I go eat sushi? At this place called Daiwa. It's the most famous place in Tsukiji for sushi. For you Montrealers, think of it as Schwartz's for sushi.

Was it the best I've ever had? I don't know, but it was damn good. It's not cheap though. It cost me a total of 4600Y (over 50$) but I ate a little extra one extra piece of Toro (fatty tuna belly) nigiri cost 800Y. Totally worth it though.

Here are some pictures of Daiwa below.

Afterwards, I went off to the market itself which was mightily impressive. If you are not used to fish markets then the smell and dampness can be off putting but try not to let it stop you!

There are a ton of forklifts, trucks, scooters and bikes everywhere. The market is all hustle and bustle. Shop and restaurant owners from all over the city come here to get their stuff. I'll be perfectly honest with you. It's a dangerous place to walk around with all the vehicles. I was nearly run over a couple of times. I did fear for my safety. I managed to navigate though!

Check out the videos at the end!

Highly recommended place! If you are ever here, it is a must see!

L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon in Tokyo

2009-10-08T20:54:00.004-04:00

Current Score:

Montreal boy 3, T-dot girl 2!

Sucka!

A Tokyo view

2009-10-08T20:47:00.004-04:00

Tokyo's nighttime skyline from the 52 floor of the Mori Tower.

Random Japanese musings: the bidet

2009-10-08T20:23:00.005-04:00

I'm a bathroom guy.

What I mean by that is that I prefer my bathrooms to be pristine. If they really suck, then there's a good chance I'll freak out. I'd rather go in the bush than go in a nasty bathroom.

There are two types of toilets in Japan: the traditional squat toilet and the standard western toilet we all know and love.

I did a little research knowing it might happen but fortunately I haven't had to use a Japanese squat toilet. I don't think I'd be able to figure it out. And I think I'd be very unhappy.

The western toilets here. Hmmm. They have auto warmed toilet seats. It's kind of gross when you first sit on it but it beats a freezing cold toilet seat, no?

Now the bidet?

Interesting.

Know what a bidet is?

Well, when you're sitting on the toilet and say, you do a #2, you press this button and there's this appendage that extends and shoots this jet of warm water into your keister to clean you up.

Anyway. On the first night I arrived, I saw the button for the bidet. I knew what it was and I was curious how it worked. So I pressed it, but I wasn't sitting on the seat. I was standing over the toilet looking. So the water shoots out of the toilet, over my shoulder, out the bathroom door and into my hotel room hallway.

Lesson: Do not play with the bidet if you haven't slept in 36 hours.

But Calvin, did you try the bidet?

What do you think? Of course. Curiosity really.

It's an interesting sensation having a warm streaming jet of water shoot into your crack. Kind of like how an enema feels I guess...

Though i don't know anything about enemas.

Bidet controls to the left (on the right if you are sitting).

High Culture

2009-10-08T03:47:00.008-04:00

So typhoon Melor ix-nayed my plans to go to the Imperial Palace. Except that typhoon Melor went past Tokyo faster than expected so it ended up being the most beautiful sunny day here so far!

Damn you, Super Typhoon Melor!! *shakes fist*

So with my only day of "real culture" shitcanned, I had to come up with something equally relevant.

Ancient Buddhist temple perhaps? The oldest temple in Tokyo?

Sold!

Senso-ji, also known as the Asakusa Kannon Temple, is located in the Asakusa ward; northeast (more east than north) of Shinjuku. It's probably the most recognizable tourist landmark in Tokyo and it's free. Leading up to the temple is Nakamise-dōri. You've probably seen pictures of this street in the tourist books. While pretty with the paper lamps hanging about, it's a street full of vendors selling overpriced tourist crap.

Nakamise-dōri

Before the temple itself is the Kaminarimon, the Thunder Gate. It's really impressive in size and style.

Kaminarimon! Huge!

Pull my finger!

Though not required as a tourist, after passing the gate I burned some incense and purified myself at the temple fountain. Gotta respect the temple right? I don't think I purified myself right (there's a procedure) so I bet my toilet's bidet is going to go haywire on me. Karma's a bitch!

Second hand smoke can be bad for your health.

The fountain I was about to purify myself with.

Uhm. Yeah. Ok. That'll work too. :)

The inner part of the temple was caged off but there's a place where you can drop money & offer a prayer. I prayed for all the luck I can get.

I have to say, I'm not a culture guy, but the temple was very interesting. I'm glad I was able to pay respect to this fellow. Hopefully, he'll help me out a little.

Buddha

Random Japanese musings: Dream MMA

2009-10-07T17:19:00.010-04:00

Dream is a Japanese MMA organization similar to the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). Except here the UFC is non-existant. Dream is the tops.

Everyone knows I love me some UFC. How many times have I gone to Vegas now to see it? And the fights in Montreal? So the other night I went to Yokohama to see Dream 11 and experience some nihon-jin on nihon-jin violence. Some nihon-jin on gaijin violence too!

Dream 11!

Was it the same? Yes and no.

One. It's polite. At the UFC, you have a whole bunch of drunken, boozing, boorish poseurs wearing Tapout or Affliction or those gawd-awful Christian Audigier t-shirts. Here? Not so much.

Jap on Jap violence!

Two. Those same boorish posers tend to be loud-mouthed. Here? Lot's of polite clapping. I mean don't get me wrong. When someone is about to get knocked out, the crowd starts to go nuts but the rest of the time it's polite. Weird, eh?

Three. The pro-wrestling aspect. The Japanese love pro-wrestling. It's translated into MMA because there are freakshow matchups. You know how here in North America everyone has to weigh the same to fight aka regulation? Well I saw a giant (literally) fight a small dude. It was terrible but the nihon-jin ate it up.

Your eyes are not fooling you! That's to scale! He's a giant freak!

I loved it! It's a very different atmosphere than back home but that's ok! I would totally do it again! Besides, people beating each other up needs no translator!

Random Japanese musings: Skanky desu-ka? Skanky desu!

2009-10-07T16:52:00.002-04:00

Typhoon Melor

2009-10-07T15:56:00.015-04:00

It's been raining here the past few days. Now I know why.

A Super Typhoon is a comin'!

Yes, super typhoon Melor has hit Tokyo. I'm not the biggest fan of typhoons. I have bad memories of typhoons, mostly stemming from that time my dad food poisoned me during typhoon season in Taiwan. As I was kneeling and heaving into the the toilet the wind from the typhoon got into the venting system and blew ceiling tiles onto my back. Yes, the ceiling fell on me as I was throwing up. I'll never forgive my dad's @$$ for that one.

But I digress.

For those of you wanting to know, what the difference between a typhoon and a hurricane is? Here's the complicated answer.

Nothing.

Which pretty much means I'm grounded from going out too much. I had to cancel my tour of the Imperial Palace for Thursday, which absolutely sucks because you have to apply and have your application accepted in advance. It's too late for Friday and weekends are closed.

Boo Typhoon Melor!

That meant that I pretty much had to stay in the area today (Wednesday) and do local shit. Being the nerdy kid that I am I went to catch an anime movie. Anime is Japanese cartoons. I love me some Japanese cartoons. It forms the fundamental basis of my spoken Japanese which means... well it means I can't speak Japanese. I went to see a Neon Genesis Evangelion movie. One of the most popular anime in the world.

Eva, as it is known in short.

Then, it was time for pachinko. What's pachinko? Well, it's a Japanese pasttime. It's this game like a cross between vertical pinball and slot machines. You shoot these tiny metal balls (a little bigger than BBs) and as they drop thru a maze of pegs you hope they fall into specific holes whereby you win more balls.

Covert Pachinko parlour photo. Investigative bloggerism at it's finest.

This. game. is. FUCKING. RETARDED.

Ugh. I threw in 1000Y for ten balls and was done in 3 seconds. Talk about shooting premature, eh?

I wish I could take more video and pictures of a pachinko parlour to show you how loud and mind-numbing it really is but it's not allowed. And most of these places are owned by Yakuza, the Japanese mafia. I felt like keeping my thumbs.

In fact almost all of the Kabukicho the red-light district is owned by Yakuza.

Alley way in Kabukicho. I'll get more pictures later.

Then the rain started. Sigh.

Random Japanese musings: Shinkansen

2009-10-06T13:46:00.005-04:00

There's a misconception that it's called the bullet train. It's not. It's called Shinkansen. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take the Shinkansen anywhere since I'm only staying in the Tokyo area. Shinkansen are usually only for longer distances, but as luck would have it there's one short stop to Yokohama where I was going to be for my MMA event.

Well:

1) I screwed up on the ticketing getting in and out of stations. It's not like the metro
2) It was only a 12 minute ride (instead of 40 minutes by regular commuter train)
3) It cost a lot more almost 12$ each way.

Still it was sweet!

Shinkansen speeding by!

Random Japanese musings: besuboru

2009-10-06T13:33:00.003-04:00

I went to see a baseball game over the weekend. Same yet different. Same in that baseball is just as boring in Japan as it is back home. Different in that it's cult like with lot's of chanting and singing. And they eat bento lunches instead of hot-dogs. And you know that Japanese schoolgirl fetish? They use it for the beer girls.

Baseball bento!

Bi-ru (beer) girl.

Eat-ventures

2009-10-06T00:49:00.019-04:00

Well, today was quite the experience. A good experience. Ever eat so much good stuff that you're literally about to puke? Ding-Ding!

For many months now I've had a huge craving for dumplings. I ate a few at this place Montreal, some my mom bought and some frozen. The craving didn't go away. In fact it only got worse as I started to plan this trip knowing I'd get to eat gyoza, Japanese style dumplings. I also knew I'd have to eat some ramen, Japanese (actually Chinese in origin) style noodles in broth too.

So i headed off to Ikebukuro today, which is north of Shinjuku.

Ikebukuro

What's at Ikebukuro? Well, not much really. Some really big department stores, manga/anime stores but most importantly:

The Ikebukuro Gyoza Stadium.

You see, nihon-jin have this weird thing where they have food amusement parks. They gather the best of the different vendors of the same food, set them up in one place and BLAMMO! "Insert food type here" heaven.

The IGS is located in a large mall called Sunshine City (ironic since it's been raining non-stop for two days). The stadium is further located inside Namja Town, a creepy mini theme park for kids owned by the video game company Namco. I say creepy, because well...it's dark, has a gothic look, there are ominous high pitched Japanese voices blaring over the speakers and it's sprinkled with cutesy animal things.

Namjatown. Creepy & kawaii (cute)!

The stadium itself is hardly a stadium. It's a collection of little stands that sell their take on gyoza. But it was dumpling paradise. What was supposed to be a 500Yen sampling quickly turned into a 3000Yen multi-sampling lunch! Quite an expensive lunch but well worth it! My stomach was crying out in joy and pain from eating too much.

Entrance to the land of gyoza.

Yummy, yummy,yummy, I got love in my tummy!

I can't say my craving was filled, since I want to go back, but I was really full. So of course like an idiot, I took a train ride a few hours later to Yokohama which is south of Tokyo. Why? I had an MMA event I wanted to see. But also right nearby the arena is:

The Shin-Yokohama Raumen (Ramen) Museum!

A collection of the 10 best ramen restaurants in Japan under one roof!

The land of noodles and shoyu (soya) broth.

Still suffering from full stomach I managed to eat two more bowls of ramen before my bladder and stomach couldn't take it anymore!

Harukiya style chaa-shuu (pork) ramen

Tokyo style gyoza ramen

Needless to say I spent the rest of the evening pissing shoyu broth and burping gyoza breath. Methinks the people on the train were not happy.

lost in translation: the reality

2009-10-05T05:10:00.011-04:00

So i got my Lost in Translation moment out of the way. For those of you living under a rock, Lost in Translation is/was an Oscar winning movie directed by Sofia Copolla, starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson about "two lonely Americans (aging actor, lonely young wife) who cross paths in a Tokyo bar. Their chance encounter sparks a series of hilarious adventures creating an unexpected connection that might not last but will stay with them forever."

A good part of the movie takes place here, on the 52nd floor of the Park Hyatt hotel.

The Park Hyatt (before drinking)

Anyway, the whole Lost in Translation experience? Overrated like the film. For those of you that remember the movie, the jazz bar plays monotone uninteresting live music, serves overpriced & mediocre drinks and charges an excessive 2000Y that's over$20USD to sit there and be "entertained".

But here are the major reasons why it didn't work for me:

1) Scarlett Johansson wasn't there.
2) Neither was Anna Faris.
3) Scarlett Johansson. Wasn't. There.

Did I mention that Scarlett Johansson wasn't there? Really. She wasn't.

<-- Clearly skipped out on our date. I think it's over between us.

On the positive side:

At least I wasn't the only North American gaijin being seriously disappointed by my Lost in Translation experience. There were also many white folk similarly let down.

I ate at the restaurant New York Grill on the same floor. Pretentious, but extremely good. The first time I've ever had real Kobe beef. I'm undecided whether this steakhouse or the one in Vegas is my fav. I won't say anymore as it will only serve to enhance the impression that I'm a super food snob Shut up, Fiona! I see & feel your eye roll!

On my way two Australians stopped me to ask where they could find some girly action. Good ol' Aussies!

Druken, blurry Tokyo skyline. Post overpriced drinks.

Poofy hair and Harajuku

2009-10-04T08:10:00.019-04:00

Maybe my stupid idea wasn't so stupid after all. I don't feel jet lagged at all. It's night time and I'm wide awake as I write this.

Tokyo is a city made up of many wards (boroughs). I happen to be staying in Shinjuku, which is the bright lights and big city that everyone makes out Tokyo to be. Where I'm staying also happens to be right near the red-light district called the Kabuki-cho. A Canadian ex-pat I met at a pub last night yes I ran into a Candian ex-pat of all things and we talked about hockey drunkenly said I must have a nose for hos. I don't know about that. Still, the area is super-amusing with barkers of all sorts trying to get me in. I may not be white or black but I stick out as a huge gaijin foreigner that's for sure. Sucker in their eyes.

Nihon-jin are certainly a different people. A lot of women dress skanky no joke and the men all have this feathery poofy hair that makes me snigger everytime I see it. It pretty much means I've been sniggering non-stop since I arrived. You know how the Governator coined the term girly men? He must have paid a visit to Tokyo.

Feather head boiz!

Skanky girl fashion. Who wants a sample?

Many of these people are found in Omote-sando, a super trendy fashion district. It's better known to us as Harajuku of Gwen Stefani fame. You know, the Harajuku Girls?. Harajuku is just a teeming mass of people. What I tend to forget is that the population of Greater Tokyo is about one third of the population of Canada. It's definitely a place I'll need to visit again before I leave since they have some very interesting clothing stores.

Harajuku crowds

Decide quickly! On the left: super uggo boi or girl?

Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls (and ugly boy)

Shinjuku Nights

2009-10-03T08:29:00.007-04:00

You know I said I felt like death yesterday? Scratch that.

NOW, I feel like death. I've been up for around 31 hours straight and I don't feel so fresh. My first thought wasn't to get to the hotel, or to get sleep. It was,

Jeebus, this place is full of asians.

Some random late night observations about Shinjuku, the famous neighbourhood I am staying in, and other various items:

There's busy and then there's Biz-ay. This place is the latter. And loud too.

Don't walk around at night drunk or tired. One, you'll get lost. Two, you'll probably walk into a puddle of vomit from a girl who drank too much.

Black leggings just past the knee, stiletto heels, garters and hooker boots seem to be the fashion items of choice here amongst women.

Men here have poofy, girly hair coloured orange. Yes it's true.

Dont play with the bidet when you are exhausted and not thinking right, especially the "shower function". 'nuff said.

And yes Heather, I got lost but managed to make it to my hotel.

Of airlines, waitlists and "stupid is as stupid does"

2009-10-02T02:44:00.014-04:00

Ugh.

I feel like death. And I'm not even in Tokyo yet. I'm sitting in Toronto waiting.

I thought what a great idea it would be to stay up as late as possible so that I could get used to Tokyo time faster.

Not the best idea I've ever had.

I woke up late (about 40 min before I had to leave). I still had stuff to pack and I know I forgot something. I just don't know what yet. I was also so tired that I felt like throwing up. And pinching a loaf really hurts when you don't have to go but need to avoid public bathrooms.

Plus, in my infinite wisdom, I assumed I could change my debit card PIN to four digits at the ATM the morning I leave since Japan only allows 4-digit PINs in their ATMs.

Uhhhhh...no.

It turns out that these new fangled chip-card PINs need to be changed at the teller. So I think I should just pull out some extra cash at the airport for-ex at an abominable exchange rate.

Stupid is as stupid does.

And now a brief word on Frequent Flyer status snobbery.

It. Kicks. Ass.

1) You don't have to sit waiting with the riff-raff. You get access to the lounge which means free drinks, free internet, free food, free tv, free newspapers...

2) You don't have to board with the riff-raff. You get on first. Now normally I could care less if I just had my backpack but when you have carry-on, bin space is precious because of those dickwads that bring every piece of luggage they have into the cabin.

3) Upgrading into business/first class. Not a guarantee since I'm on a waitlist, but if I make it I don't have to sit with the aforementioned riff-raff. Some of them smell you know.

Boo riff-raff!

EDIT (12:30pm): Pre-boarding update. I was upgraded to first class. Bitchin'!

Intro

2009-10-02T02:05:00.000-04:00

So my introductory blog actually comes after my first blog post. This is because I do things in reverse. So what is this blog about? Today, I embark on a really cool trip to Tokyo. Since my last documented vacation (England 2006 - imfamous pub crawl on video) was amusing I figured that I would actually leverage this newfound technology called the internet to share my experience travelling to Japan.

Nihon? Doshite? (Japan? Why?)

I dunno.

It's clean.
The Japanese people are meek & docile.
Vacation bidet fun!
The Fast & the Furious:Tokyo Drift was the. best. movie. EVAR! Not really. It was the dog's bollocks.

Let's face it. It's not the most original trip ever. It's not some year long spiritual journey. I'm going for about 10 days to eat, see & do cool shit and ~~score with some hot Japanese chicks~~ hopefully meet interesting new people along the way.

Honestly? I'm nervous. A good nervous, but nervous nonetheless. Why? I've never been to another country where I can't speak the language. Nihon-go wakarimasen I don't understand Japanese. OK, maybe entiendo un pocito but watching anime in Japanese and actually speaking it are two different things.

So we'll see what happens, ya? I can't wait.

One month to go...

2009-09-04T14:22:00.000-04:00

...and I've got nothing ready. Even if I'm only going for a week and a bit.

No money, no research and I'm behind in my Nintendo DS Japanese lessons. I can't wait to get lost in Shinjuku train station.

Sugoi! and I mean that in a sarcastic way.